Make It Rain

I am sitting at Wild Joe's, a new coffee shop in Bozeman, working on homework with Fisher. Fisher is listening to his ipod and I am just listening to the soundtrack the coffee shop has to offer; sounds of steaming milk, soft jazz, the steady hum of the refrigerator and the muffled conversations of those around me. Strait ahead of me is a wall of windows looking out into a very cold, windy and wet fall day.

Fisher and I were supposed to get up early and work putting in a fence. When I woke up at 7:15 a.m. the wind was blowing rain strait in through my window and we decided to put off the fencing job.

There is something delightful about being controlled by the weather. I often forget to notice the ever changing force because of modern niceties like air conditioning or heating. I can go a whole day jumping from one controlled climate to the next—home, car, school, etc.—without so much as taking note of the weather patterns. But not today. Today I have been pushed indoors by foul weather and I now sit admiring its constant presence as I sip on my London fog and work on my Math 450 homework.

A Little Bit Embarrassed

There has been a certain increase of protesters and demonstrators on Montana State's campus this year. These sorts of demonstrations are all too often done by those who have a very minority opinion and are all the more emboldened because of it. Many of those who demonstrate and thereby subject themselves to the general resent of the campus usually do so out of a religious or moral conviction. They often have become so entrenched in a certain issue—abortion, homosexuality, a political affiliation—that they become unable to relate in any way with those who have a different opinion about the relative issue. Because of this, campus demonstrations are hardly ever grounds for honest and progressive debate, certainly not the ones I have been witness to. Instead, they lead towards intensified bitterness and polarization.

This was certainly the case yesterday when a group of people holding massive signs proclaiming Christ were mocking those who were simply trying to make their way to class. They shouted that school and Montana State as an institution was turning us all into 'wimps' and that we had to 'take responsibility for our actions,’ because ‘hell is real and eternity is serious.’ They also demanded that we abandon all forms of structure—including church—to find God through revelation alone. My friend Gue was given a pamphlet as he cruised down the mall and as the person handed the pamphlet to him he told him, 'wake up, hell's a real place and you're going there.' They have no idea who Gue is.

These protesters make me so uncomfortable. Actually, they make me incredibly angry. I feel like they ruin my credibility as a Christ follower and make a joke out of something I take so seriously. I left campus heated yesterday wondering how people who claimed Christ could act so foolishly.

A little while later, I realized that some of my thinking was pretty off-base. In no way do I support the message they deliver and definitely not the way in which they choose to deliver it, but still, they are as human as me. They are necessarily God's children, like the rest of us. I would even say that in a lot of ways, we have the same message. Have I not done something in the name of Christ that would make another Christ follower cringe? I am sure some of you reading this know that I certainly have. What authority do I have to judge the faith of these campus demonstrators, however much I disagree?

Sometimes I try so hard to disassociate myself with demonstrators like this that I forget they are to be loved like anyone else.

Dem Boys

This last weekend I was graced by the presences of my beloved brother Ryan, as well as Matt, Paul and Sean. That's right, the whole young gun crew loaded up in the Maxima and pushed the whip northward towards Bozeman.

Before they got here I was trying my best to put together some plans to 'really impress' them. I wanted to show them the type of weekend that would have them filling out the MSU applications and running to the bookstore to get their Cat Claws.

We climbed a mountain, roasted some marshmallows and soaked in some hot springs. It was a good weekend, to be sure. But that ended up to not be the point.

What I discovered this weekend was that those guys are family to me. I think I've always known that, but this weekend was a sure reminder. As we climbed and camped I was overwhelmed by the way we understood each other. By the way we cared for each other. By the way we knew each other. They reminded me, so casually, of where I came from.

You boys have become a part of what I consider family and an important part of who I am. Thanks for your subtle and not so subtle reminders of all that I consider home.

YoungLife Tonight

Bozeman YoungLife club kicks the year off at 7:47 pm tomorrow night. At that time some 50+ kids will roll through the doors of The Rock—where we hold club. Some will know us, some won’t. Some will have been to plenty of clubs before and for some this will be their first. Some will be seniors, eager to finish high school and begin moving towards whatever dreams they have for themselves. Some will be freshman, looking around to others for cues and trying to observe all that is going on. Some will be excited. Some will be nervous. Someone might puke (it’s happened before). Someone will most likely be embarrassed by a skit in front of all their peers. We’ll laugh and joke and sing and dance. We’ll dress up like morons and do our best to make fools of ourselves. It will be club like I’ve known and loved for most of these last 3 years. But all of that doesn’t matter. What is behind all of this is a concern for Jesus and a concern for our high school friends. This grand and awesome procession is put together simply so we can get to know kids and so that we might be given the chance to earn the right to share Christ with them. Now that’s something worth getting excited about.

Sunrise Suprise

12 pm Thursday night. Going to bed wondering whether or not I am going to be able to get this monster homework assignment done. Need to go to work after class. Is there going to be any time? Wish there was more time in a day, wish I could control the day and the sun and its processes.

Wake up in a hurry. Need to shower quickly. No time, no time. My eye is caught by the sun rising slowly over the Bridger Mountains. In an instant, life slows down. I am beckoned to sit on the porch. I must do so. Life slows down. The screech and blur that I had created for myself melts with the amber glow. Life's pace slows to match that of the golden prairie grass swaying back in forth as controlled by the cool and calm breeze of the morning. Dew evaporates and a subtle steam meanders skyward. I am reminded of God in the warmth of the golden sun.

Late Night Musings

It's 12:30 am and I have to be up in six and a half hours. Not too worried, but sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to be one of 'those guys' who naturally wakes up at the crack of dawn to mill around for a few hours before the rest of the world gets moving. My Dad is one of those guys, seems to work for him. The few times I have found myself in some form of elevated consciousness at these hours have been quite pleasant. Yet, the horizon is unseen. I still find energy reserves late into the night that were missing during my Numerical Analysis and Optimization class this morning. I still have to get myself jacked like I am about to set the world record for power cleans in order to rouse myself anytime before 8...maybe even 9. I would be more than fine with it if my biological clock would set itself backwards a few hours, but as for now I will continue to watch a lot more sunsets than sunrises. Goodnight.

My roommate and dear friend, the esteemed Mathew Brackett Fisher, has started a blog of his own. He's a good writer. Have a look.

Have a Super Day

I have been asked on several occasions what sort of super powers I would choose given the opportunity and my replies have been varied. As a younger person I was pretty sure I wanted to fly or sling webs onto buildings in order to skate from one block to another in New York City. Then I realized that teleporting would accomplish the same goal with an even greater range. Then, a year or so I go I started responding to the question saying that I would want to be unaffected by food and sleep. That I could eat or sleep but that I didn't have to and I would be able to stay up all night or run incredible distances without stopping. Really? If I could have any power in the world I would want to stop eating and sleeping? Wow, my creativity has been snuffed by linear algebra and advanced calculus.

So, in the spirit of creativity and imagination I put a little thought into it and my new superpower would be...man, Brianne's jumping into pictures is good...uh...I want to fly...and not have to eat? Uh, pathetic. How about technopathy? which is having the ability to interact with computers and machines through extra sensory perception. Getting worse.

It seems like I am just choosing the things I wish that I could have more control over. I wish sometimes that I had more time in a day and not eating or sleeping would provide while at the same time robbing me of two activities I really enjoy. As an innocent youngster I chose flying simply for the joy of flying but then gave up the joy for a more effective less enjoyable teleporting. My creativity has been stifled because some parts of my life have lost their romance and beauty. Duty and task have replaced passion and fulfillment because I have looked elsewhere then God to find these. I am just now beginning to realize how enticing lovers less wild than He can be and how unknowingly we can choose to serve them. What I really want is the heart to avoid these lesser lovers which strip my life of passion and purpose, and one that chooses to live as it was created to do so--as well as the grace to be forgiven when I don't.


Also, I would want to a human bouncy ball.

Less Than Triumphant Return

As is the case with going back to something you have neglected for some time, it doesn’t always come easily. The issue is not so much remembering how to ride that bike which has sat around for months as much is it is about actually convincing yourself to go have a ride.

I, ashamedly, have let this blog slip a bit. If you are interested in my excuses please see included list* because I will not include them here—they are worthless. For the past month or two I have awaited some sort of inspiration for blogging, but as my blog called to me like that old forgotten baseball glove begging to be broken back out I realized that as much as I concern myself with how well my blog will be received by others what I loved about it was thinking through and formalizing my thoughts and reactions to my experiences. Moreover, what I have appreciated so much about the blogs of others has been vulnerability and the permeation of people’s unique personalities. So, in order to make sure that I am actually thinking about life and being vulnerable even to myself, I blog on.

Brianne came to Bozeman for Labor Day weekend so that we could celebrate our anniversary together. Using the word anniversary is, I am sure, well received by those who have born with us using the term ‘montheversary’ for the past eleven months. We celebrated each other and reflected on the past year. Looking back at a year that involved incredible distances that we still felt produced such fruit and beauty caused us to sit in awe at a big God as we saw his signature in Glacier National Park. It is amazing to slow down enough to see what is and has been going on all around you the whole time.

Also, I am in college. My last year of college. It is both intimidating and exciting to sit on the edge of the rest of your life, but I guess everyday is kind of like that if you choose to think of it that way.

*List

1) Summer was in full bloom and I was outside.

2) Somehow, after writing about adventures in New Zealand eating Chipotle and watching Dog the Bounty Hunter Marathon on TLC didn’t seem so interesting.

3) My fingers hurt…“Oh yeah, well now your backs gonna hurt because you just pulled landscaping duty”