Four Quick Slices

It has snowed in Bozeman 9 out of the last 10 days. This weekend I went to West Yellowstone where there was some 4 feet surrounding the cabin we stayed in. The first night there, Matt and I built a snow cave in a 7 foot drift to sleep in. I haven't seen pavement in weeks and don't miss it. There is something about snow which is so refreshing. The blanket of snow which overwhelms all geography erases the impressions of structure, development, urbanization...busyness.

Ryan started recording. His musical talent makes me wonder how I completely missed these genes. Or, more accurately, where he got them from. Ryan, you are a talented and soulful individual with an incredible mind and the gift of expressing it. Thanks for sharing yourself with the world.

Today was the fourth day of my last semester of college.. I really hope I can drag this one out. What the hell am I going to do come May? ...I'm going to miss a lot of things here.

Brianne moved here. For the first time in the entirety of our relationship it's looking like we are going to spend more than a couple of weeks together. It has been great and I am very much so grateful and looking forward to our time here. Also, it is nice to have a piece of home, my past and my future here with me during this transition of graduation.

Chillin in MT

There's a blizzard outside. The first big snow storm of the year has migrated from the West Coast and struck the Gallatin Valley with a vengeance. I love snow, but this comes at a poor time as I am trying to migrate to the West Coast tomorrow afternoon to spend Thanksgiving with Chris, Kyle and others. I suppose I have rocked a few Montana passes in blizzards before, I can probably do it again.

About the week in CO: There is so much that I want to say (or force myself to think hard enough about to post) but for numerous reasons I can’t and won’t. What I can say is that I learned, once again, that expectations can really cause harm. I also learned that reality is now, not later. I also learned that life is good, no matter how hard and crappy it seems. And I was reminded what it feels like to be in the midst of a hail storm and feel the warmth of people I love and love me. Colorado has remained ‘home’ in my heart. The good, the bad, the hard and the awesome— all of it.

My Head Feels Like a Shirt in a Petey Pablo Video

I got back to Montana two days ago. The week and a half in Colorado was hard. Hard but good I think. I haven't yet had time to even recall what all happened or react because immediately upon returning, thanks to the stellar advice of Chris, I created an entire page of "to-do" stuff. I am about halfish-way done. I am leaving again Tuesday...not going to have a lot of time to think or write.

Peace and love.

I feel in some ways lost in the realm that is blogging. For the last semester I have recorded some of my experiences and thoughts and in some way this made me feel grounded. It has now been longer than a month without a post and I feel as though I have floated to the outer reaches of the blogosphere and am in danger of never returning.

I had/have a big desire to unpack and reflect on my semester abroad, but this desire isn't met with an abundance of time. Not sure what it is about lazy summers that can just make it seem like there is no longer time for an activity such as blogging...but I am not complaining. Life hasn't stopped with my blog entries and though I wish I could write more I am not upset to be lured away from the computer by summertime, family and friends.

I am glad to be currently living with a portion of the community which makes up our small bloggermunity which might explain the decline in posts.

The plan for now is to continue blogging, though I am not sure when that will be remotely consistent again.

Bryce, please don't take me off your list.

Much love.

It’s 2:38 am, Do You Know Where Your Head’s At?

I am sitting in the common room of flat 38—the place that I have called home for these last five months. This morning I took a three hour essay test, handed it to the instructor, walked out the door and finished my junior year of college. I threw all my clothes into bags, took all my pictures off the walls, decided what things to keep and what things to trash and all of the sudden my room was just like it was when I arrived—not mine. Tonight at dinner my Dad, Ryan, Tom, Lynn, Chris and I had a toast celebrating the trip that we have just shared and marking its end. After dinner, everyone who’s around came to the flat and we carried on just like we had throughout countless nights before and we reminisced on all the experiences and adventures we found; then, everyone left for the last time.

Today has been one of the biggest days of transition of my life. It marked the transition into my last year of college, the beginning of summer, the end of an incredible trip shared with people I love and the transition away from an entire semester abroad—something that I couldn’t hardly see beyond six months ago and something that affected me more greatly than I could have guessed. Tomorrow, actually in 2 hours I transition myself away from Christchurch, New Zealand via some 40 hours of traveling and back to Longmont, Colorado for the summer and then on to Bozeman, Montana a couple of months later for my last fall semester.

The obvious feelings of both sadness about leaving and excitement to be home again with the people I love, the same feelings which have found me at the commencement of other school years or summer camps or long trips—these feelings are present but they are different somehow. Perhaps they are the same but my approach to them is different, all I know is that something is different. I feel like there is an incredible amount of feelings somewhere that I can begin to let surface resulting quickly in a small pain in my stomach that forces me to push them back down and ignore them a while longer. I think that maybe it just isn’t time yet to fully reflect on my time here and fully anticipate the time ahead of me. Actually, I think that it is likely that my brain or some other important part of me would turn to a guacamole type consistency and texture if this were to happen, but I have tried.

I have had several prescribed attitudes towards this time of transition that I have tried my best to implement, but these efforts have proved fruitless. The first was an attempt to understand this transition is a ‘bittersweet’ one. The bitter obviously being an end to an incredibly unique time here in New Zealand that I won’t be getting back, and the sweet being eager anticipation for my return home where people who I miss dearly are, where summer adventures await and where the wedding of a great friend and a man who I admire unendingly is to take place in five days. The second prescribed attitude I tried to own was being more grateful for my time here than I am upset that it is ending, letting my feelings of thankfulness completely subdue my feelings of grief. The third attempted attitude was one of confidence; understanding that my time here was incredible, that my future holds more incredible adventures to be lived like this one and that I understood the nature of an abroad program and its unavoidable end when I came here, and that it is now just at hand.

I tried these different attitudes, I experimented with how they would make me feel, how they would organize what I am feeling and what the fallout would be and I am not satisfied. To label something bittersweet is too simple; it ignores both the bitter and the sweet by simply appointing the term ‘bittersweet’ to the feelings and assumes that they sort of cancel each other out, in a way. This isn’t fair to the intense bitter and the incredible sweet, both of which deserve to be sorted and acknowledged. While I am incredibly grateful for my time here—grateful for this unique experience which was provided me by the unending support of people I could never repay for what they have given me—letting gratefulness just overrule sadness ignores the issue again. And confidence certainly could describe the way I feel about my decision to come here and my understanding that this good thing is coming to an end while many other great things are just beginning, this still seems like an arrogant way to conveniently dismiss the great sadness which finds me as I finish this leg of my journey.

I tried on all these different attitudes as I described my sentiments to others about this transition and simply found myself frustrated with their inability to represent and appreciate everything that is rushing through my spinning head. Even as I confidently explained these attitudes and how they nicely package my mood, that creeping feeling in the pit of my stomach signaling something much more vested surged.

Maybe when I meet transitions it isn’t about a certain attitude or compartmentalization of moods/feelings/thoughts. I came to New Zealand eager to understand what was for me here and found none of what I expected while at the same time finding something more than expectations could have predicted. I came seeking serene landscape, a break from the ‘real world,’ adventure and excitement. What I found was people, relationships, adventure, excitement, serene landscape, the ‘real world,’—an adventure which can’t be broken down into bullet points of what I have learned and an experience which impacts cannot be easily identified or categorized. I have collided with an opportunity in a way that is certain to leave a mark, and I see it as a beautiful collision.

Leaving this place saddens me. It is not so much the physical location, though I will miss all that this incredible island has to offer, but it is this time, these people, this leg of the journey and the things that I have been afforded to learn by all of that.

In the midst of the deep sadness and slight fear that characterizes my feelings as I depart in a couple of hours are anxious feelings of excitement to be home. Excitement for the wedding of Bryce and Kate, excitement to see the friends I have held so close to my heart and that I have missed for five months, excitement to celebrate five months of incredible distance in my relationship with Brianne and discovering what two months in the same place can be like, and to return to the place which has always defined the word ‘home’ uniquely to me.

I sit in the waiting room of an incredible transition from an indescribably awesome chapter of life and another that I look forward to with eager anticipation. Though feelings and sentiments are mixed, though my head is spinning from trying to reflect on these last five months and the result is a small but persistent pain just below my diaphragm, I am struck by the goodness of past, present and future, and surely can appreciate the beauty of transitions…especially this one.

One Last Go

I haven't blogged in a while and for good reason; I have been traveling around this island one last time accompanied by my Dad, my brother, my Aunt Lynn, Chris and Taylor. We are on the last leg of the classic South Island loop, which now after 5 months has many places that are dear to me. I have gotten to experience things once more, to remember the last time(s) I was there and show this place that I have come to love to people I love. It has been a good way to go out.

I am now sitting at the Te Nikau Lodge in Punakaiki--my new favorite place that I have stayed. These lodges are nestled deep in the rain forest of Paparoa National Park and one of the most beautiful coves I have seen yet is a 5 minute walk away. I am going to go down there in a little while to watch the sunset.

Tomorrow we drive back to Christchurch, ending our loop and ending my last road trip here in New Zealand. I take a test on Monday, pack, say goodbye and then leave Tuesday. I haven't hardly had a second to think for the past couple of weeks--my energy has been invested into traveling and the people who came to visit--but I am looking forward to a 14 hour plane ride (sick, I know) and some time to reflect on and remember these last 5 months.

I will be home soon.

Really, I Can't Think About Much Else Right Now

On Friday morning at 10:20 Brianne gets here to Christchurch. It has been more than 3 months since we have last been in the same place. Our relationship has always been categorized as ‘long distance,’ but I don’t think that I quite understood just how really long ‘long’ can be. We have fought hard to have a presence in each other’s lives despite an amazing amount of distance and different settings. It has not always been entirely easy to communicate through emails, phone calls and letters but our connection, I have found, is beyond verbal or written communication. We have found the understanding and peace comes from God through prayer, and though I have not always been completely diligent he has always been faithful. This semester has been hard, yet difficult times have the potential to produce fruits and we have worked hard to ensure that this semester will be a fruitful one.

Friday morning will be the first time in three months I have seen Brianne, the first time in three months that I have gotten that subtle reassurance that a smile provides and a time to share in an adventure here in this place and somehow I know that because of the trial which these three months has been it will be all the better.

Leave only footprints, take only pictures

I have returned to Christchurch after a three week hiatus from school, computers, schedules and showers. The adventure which was found cannot be aptly depicted and the stories too numerous and dear to tell in such a format. This island has God’s beauty painted all over it and I have been blessed to be able to see it. So, in lieu of written retellings here are a few pictures of this awesome little island.

Aoraki /Mt Cook, New Zealand's tallest peak

Brian getting down and dirty on the Dusky Track

Chris descending from Lake Roe Pass, Dusky Track

Aoraki/Mt Cook on a cool fall night

A bit of fun atop Mt Olivia, Mt Sefton and Mt Cook in the background

A tarn above Centre Pass, Dusky Track

Jacques with his brown trout on the Mataura River

Chris making his way across one of the many swing bridges along the Dusky Track

The glaciers of Mt Sefton illuminated by moonlight

The Mueller hut at dusk

On the Move

I have just returned from a seven day backpacking trip on the Dusky Track with six great friends from the University of Canterbury. The trail covered somewhere around 40 miles including two passes, two locks, countless tarns, unending roots and waist deep mud. It was a true delight to be able to spend that amount of time in such beautiful country feeling as though God were singing me love songs.

When I said 'returned' what I meant was temporarily landed in Queenstown. We are leaving this afternoon to see what still awaits us before we return to Christchurch next Sunday. Actually, the only reason I got a second to write was becuase I am waiting for my laundry to dry in the next room.

Extended stories and pictures should follow at a later date, but for now more adventures await.

I now stand on the other side of a test and about twenty pages of writing on various subject including; contextualized thinking in India, the origins of algebra, and the consequences of Sir Edmund Hillary on Kiwi culture. Actually, it wasn't too bad.

A little trivial knowledge: Helen Clark, the current New Zealand Prime Minister has climbed Mt Kilimanjaro...twice.

Chris' Dad got in this morning and I can't wait for the three of us to get out and see some more country! We are heading down to Fiordland National Park and are going to Hike the Routeburn track. Those who have already been there tell me it is some of the most beautiful hiking a person can do, we are all quite excited.

I am not sure if I will be able to post very frequently for a while. Finishing this mass of work marks the start of a three week break during which time I do not plan on being in front of a computer too often, perhaps occasionally though.







I like the collage idea Brianne. Here's mine: people and times that I miss.

Don't Be Fooled By the Rocks That I Got

I probably should be getting started on one of the two papers I still have left to do, but, well, I don’t want to. Take that school.

Music for me has been American rock covers in Irish bars, late 80’s and early 90’s hip-hop on the radio and jam sessions supplemented by the amazing voice of Amy Thompson.

However, below are some songs that frequent our kitchen, the speakers of the vista, and my ear-buds.


1) Amos Lee, Night Train
2) The Format, Inches and Falling
3) David Crowder Band, All That I Can Say
4) Shane and Shane, The Waiting Room
5) Derek Webb, The House Show (Has to be the whole album)
6) Jason Mraz and Tristan Prettyman, Shy that Way
7) Jonny Lang, Only a Man
8) Phil Wickham, Divine Romance
9) Jurassic 5, Work it Out
10) Del Amitri, Driving with the Brakes On
11) Kanye West, Family Business
12) Bjork Ostrom, Can’t Get You Off of My Mind

I Have Slept 2 of the Last 7 Nights in My Bed

Just wanted to send a little update before I left again to go to Queenstown for the weekend.

Tuesday I had a chance to get out backpacking on the Mt Somers track. I saw rain, hail, sleet, and even snow on my 25 kilometer trek. I did this one solo, which is something that I have never done before. Everything has a different feel when you are alone in the wilderness. Situations quickly become a bit more unnerving (like getting lost, which I only did once) when there is not another person along with you to help make decisions. But you do get a certain feeling of solitude unlike any other I have felt. I didn't see a single person for two days and this led me to pray, marvel at God's wilderness as I tramped though it, and think about all those that I love. It was really a great time, and I would recommend to anyone who wants to see what a bit of seclusion is like.



Last weekend a heap of us headed out to the West Coast for the Wild Foods Festival. It ended up being more of a midday getting sloshed festival, not exactly my style, so soon after arriving we decided to head north for Paparoa National park--a very good decision. Paparoa is a tropical rainforest with vibrant green vegetation, large meandering rivers and huge slabs of granite, sandstone, and rhyolite. Six of us took an overnighter through the main jog of the park. We wandered up streams beds, through prairies, and up mountain passes. We even got to sleep under a rock overhang, one of the coolest campsites I have ever had. I did the whole trip in my Chacos and my feet are still feeling the impact of that somewhat ill thought out decision. Despite a few blisters and some minor abrasions the trip was great.







Now, like I mentioned, we are off to Queenstown which is the southernmost large city in New Zealand and boasts the title of adventure capital of the world. I may wait to do the world's tallest bunjee jump until Keith and Ryan get here (gear up fellas!).

Like a virgin, blogged for the very first time...

I spent several hours searching the internet trying to figure out exactly how smoke signals work. Through a combination of fire, smoke, and some sort of covering one can send plumes of smoke into the air in order to communicate with someone hundreds of miles away. However, it turns out that this would be fairly difficult to view from Longmont, Bozeman, Waco, Ft. Collins, Agua Prieta, Boulder, Denver, or wherever else my friends and family are. Frustrated I considered courier dolphins, messages in bottles, pirates, and/or stowaways on cargo ships to relay my messages from New Zealand to the various people in the countries they reside in (thank you Boeke for living in Mexico). All of these options seemed interesting but unreasonable. Frustrated I considered not going at all until my good friend Bryce suggested a weblog. Eureka! So Chris, my heterosexual partner in crime and I have decided to use weblogs to relay our experiences, thoughts, lamentations, photos, et cetra while abroad. You can view Chris' blog at http://darkenednightskies.blogspot.com/. I am fairly sure that the only people reading this blog will be those whose lives I want to hear about, so all of you please email me stories about your happenings to Ehaagenson@msn.com. On deck for us is a 24 hour, two-day (because New Zealand is a day ahead) travel extravaganza. I am immediately going to flush a toilet when we get to Fiji and I will divulge my findings in my next post.